Seizure and sudden death
My Cat Poppy and I were up at the cottage just to get a few things done to close up for winter including an appointment that I had to put on my snow tires.On the weekend.. Saturday night to be exact I heard a bit of a stir which was normal but looked over to the corner of the room and Poppy was on her side and very disoriented.. I picked her up and moved her to the bed where she "came too" and then she was seemingly fine until she heard my voice ... and she went and hid under the bed.. for the night. She was not a happy kitty and everytime I would try to talk her out from under the bed she would growl at me in fact she even lunged at me at one point.. she didn't seem to know me. It's a snow storm now so I am calling around cottage country to see if I could find a vet .. because the vet clinics are all closed.. anyway they could not help me but said just to keep an eye on her it might be that she got into something.. or perhaps she is constipated.. give her some metamucil. Turns out the next day.. now Sunday she was a little tired but back to her normal self again... purring and eating and following me all over the place. Monday again.. after speaking to the clinic they said it sounds like she got into something so I decided to take her in for an exam on Tuesday or Wednesday...they said just bring her in. Monday she was perfectly fine.. a little needy... I put a litter box in my bedroom and worked on my laptop in bed so we could snuggle.. and remember thinking she hadn't used it she must be using the other one. So many flashbacks of what we did and trying to recall everything to search for clues. Monday just as usual we go to sleep together.. she did her regular song and dance.... when I woke up on Tuesday a litle later than normal I found her on the couch and she had passed away. No vomit or urine, no blood.. she was in her usual sleeping position in her regular couch spot... it blew me away. I am not even that concerned with what took her life.. I am absolutely consumed with grief and guilt and wish that I could have seen signs.. I think Poppy tricked me into thinking she was ok for the last day because all I did was hug her and tell her how pretty she was and that I was scared that she was going to leave me... and i remember thinking how much I appreciated her and promised never to take her for granted again. The sadness is crushing me and I don't know how to move past the guilt. I know that the outcome might have been different if there was not a storm and I took her in right away.. if we didn't come to the cottage and I was closer to our regular vet.. if I had just seen the signs I was even obsessing over her littler box to see if she had urinated enough... and I keep looking back for signs. I think if I can push through the guilt I can begin to heal but it's consuming me.. I'm still up here and the lonliness is agonizing ... my Poppy licked away many tears and was always around me.. she gave me way more than I could have ever given her and I will always ge grateful for her. I loved her so much and feel like I let her down. Thank you for letting me share my story. C
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