I lost my Bubby to sudden heart failure

Bubby: 9/9/12-9/12/15 Goodbye my boy. You will always be in my heart. You came into my life when I was all but in darkness and you brought the light back into my life. Be good up there:We cannot choose when we pass into the next life. But we can control who we share our passing's with. It happened so suddenly. In a moment my world suddenly got so much smaller. I cannot lean back and put my hands on that cold nose anymore. Instead I feel an empty table. Or those ears behind a blanket betraying a hiding spot. Just a blanket now. I can't rewind the clock and get that moment back when he collapsed, how I wish I was there to catch him instead of the cold floor that did. But I carried him in these arms and it was in these arms that he left this world. I'll see you again someday but not too soon if I do it right. Goodbye my little Bubby babe.                                                                                                                                                But for all the poetic wording I ask myself if I did everything that I could? He had no symptoms and the vet tells me this really can just happen out of the blue.

 Couldn't I have prevented this?! I should have been there to catch him, I should have done more. This sweet little child saved me from myself, and he gave me 3 wonderful years of joy. I am a better human because of him. When it was his turn was I really listening? Now he is gone and I am broken inside. What if I could have saved him?  Even now I am greatful for him for this time I had with him, that I could love something so much that I can ache like this.

 Oh my Bubby Baby I miss you I love you so much!!





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